The Letter
POV: Michelle Jones-Watson
MJ was not a person who cried.
She had learned, at a young age, that tears solved nothing. They didn't bring back absent fathers, they didn't fix broken homes. They didn't make the world kinder or fairer or less cruel. Tears were a release valve, and MJ had learned to keep the pressure contained.
She was composed, she was elegant, she was the girl who got straight A's, who never raised her voice, who handled crisis with a calm that made adults uncomfortable.
She was also, at this very moment, sitting on her bedroom floor at two in the morning, thinking about a letter she'd read too many times to count.
She didn't cry.
But her hands were shaking.
Three Months Ago
Frank Castle's Hideout
She'd found the letter in Peter's desk.
She'd confronted him. He'd told her everything, the spell, the four years, the choice he'd made to erase himself from the world to save everyone, from her.
She'd been angry, not because he loved her. But because he'd made the decision for her, because he'd taken away her choice, because he'd decided that forgetting was better than knowing.
She'd told him she didn't remember him, she'd told him she didn't love him, she'd told him it was four years too late.
She'd meant it.
And she'd watched something break behind his eyes.
Now
MJ and Ned's Apartment, 2:17 AM
She couldn't stop thinking about him.
Not the letter, not the words, him. The way he'd looked at her when she'd said she didn't love him. The way he'd nodded, like he'd expected it, like he'd deserved it.
She'd been right to be angry, she knew that. He'd made a choice that wasn't his to make.
But she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd been cruel.
She picked up her phone, he texted Ned.
MJ: Hey. Cn I ask u smthin?
Ned: Sure, wat's up?
MJ: Can we talk? In person?
There was a pause.
Ned: Yeah, now?
MJ: Nah, let's talk in the morning
She set down her phone.
She didn't sleep.
The Next Morning
Morning Glory Coffee Shop
MJ woke early.
She made a black coffee, no sugar, no cream, the way she always took it, and sat at the dining table.
Ned walked in, made his chai, and sat down across from her.
"So," he said. "What's going on?"
MJ took a breath. "I need to understand something."
"Okay."
"Peter, the letter, everything he told me at Frank's place. I've been... I've been thinking about it... a lot."
Ned nodded slowly. "That's understandable."
"I was angry. When he told me, I felt like he'd taken something from me. Four years of my life, my choices."
"You had every right to be angry, I was too."
"I know, but I've been wondering... was I wrong?"
Ned was quiet.
"I mean, I know he made a mistake. I know he shouldn't have decided for me. But he was trying to protect me, he was trying to save the world. And I just... I told him I didn't love him. I told him it was too late."
Ned's voice was gentle. "Do you regret that?"
MJ looked at him. "I don't know, that's the problem. I don't know what I feel."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't remember him, I don't remember loving him. But I... I feel something. Every time I see him, every time I think about him... something I can't explain."
Ned leaned forward. "What kind of something?"
"I don't know, it's like... like there's a hole in my chest where something used to be, and I don't know how to fill it."
Ned was quiet for a long moment, then he said, "that sounds like grief."
"Grief?"
"We lost something, even if we don't remember it, even if we don't know what it was, we lost him, and a part of us knows that."
MJ's voice was barely a whisper. "What do I do?"
Ned shrugged. "I don't know, but I know Peter doesn't blame you, he never did."
"How do you know?"
"Duh, because he's my best friend(even if i don't remember him), he's spent four years blaming himself for everything, he doesn't have room to blame anyone else."
MJ looked down at her coffee.
"I don't know if I can fix this," she said.
"Maybe you don't have to fix it, maybe you just have to... try."
POV: MJ
She left the apartment confused.
She walked through the city, not paying attention to where she was going.
She passed ESU campus, she passed the library, she passed a small park where children were playing.
She stopped.
There was Peter.
Sitting on a bench, a girl next to him.
The girl was... striking, dark red hair, oversized hoodie, ripped jeans. She was leaning her head on Peter's shoulder, and Peter was looking at her with an expression MJ didn't recognize, soft, tender, warm.
MJ felt something sharp in her chest.
Jealousy.
She had no right to be jealous, she didn't know Peter, she didn't remember him, she'd told him she didn't love him.
But she felt it.
She watched them for a moment longer, the girl said something, and Peter laughed, a real laugh, deep and genuine. The girl smiled, it was a small smile, but it transformed her face.
MJ turned away.
She walked home.
She didn't cry.
But she couldn't stop thinking about the way Peter had looked at that girl.
POV: Jean Grey
Jean felt it before she saw it.
Through the link, a spike of emotion, Jealousy, sharp, painful... then grief.
She looked up, across the park, a woman walking away, dark hair, perfect posture, controlled.
MJ.
Jean's heart clenched.
"Jean?" Peter's voice. "You okay?"
She looked at him, he was watching her with concern.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"You're lying."
"Maybe."
Peter followed her gaze, but MJ was already gone.
"What were you looking at?"
"Nothing, just... someone walking by."
Peter didn't push.
Jean leaned her head back on his shoulder, she could still feel it, the echo of MJ's emotions, jealousy, confusion, yearning.
She loves him.
The thought was a knife.
She told him she didn't love him, but she does.
Jean closed her eyes.
What am I doing?
POV: MJ
That night, MJ made a decision.
She sat Paul down on the couch, she held his hands, she looked him in the eyes.
"I need to tell you something."
Paul was patient, he was always patient.
"What's going on?"
"I've been... I've been feeling things, for someone else."
Paul didn't flinch, he just nodded, like he'd been expecting this.
"Peter Parker?"
MJ stared. "How did you..."
"Ned told me that you guys are childhood friends, I don't exactly know what's happening, but I did see your expression change everytime Ned brought his name up."
"I don't..."
"You do."
MJ's voice cracked. "Paul, I'm so sorry."
Paul squeezed her hands. "You don't have to apologize, you can't control who you love."
"I don't even know if it's love, I don't even know him."
"Then figure it out."
MJ looked at him.
"I mean it," Paul said. "I'm not going to stand in your way, I care about you too much for that."
MJ was crying, she didn't realize it until she felt the tears on her cheeks.
"I don't deserve you..."
He kissed her forehead.
"Go find him, figure it out, and if it doesn't work... I'll be here."
MJ hugged him.
She didn't know what she was going to do next.
But she knew she couldn't keep pretending.
POV: Peter Parker
Peter got a text at midnight.
Unknown Number: It's MJ, I gt ur num frm Ned. Cn we talk? Tmrw?
He stared at his phone for a long time.
Jean was asleep on the couch, he could hear her breathing, soft and steady. He could feel her through the link, peaceful, dreaming.
He typed back.
Peter: Yeah, where?
MJ: The cafe, Morning Glory, 10 AM.
Peter: I'll be there.
He set down his phone.
He didn't sleep that night.
POV: Jean Grey
Jean wasn't asleep.
She'd been pretending, but she'd felt the shift in Peter's emotions, the spike of anxiety, the surge of hope, something had happened.
She waited until he was in his room, then she reached out through the link.
"Peter?"
No response.
"Peter, I know you're awake."
A pause, then "yeah."
"What happened?"
"MJ texted me, she wants to talk tomorrow."
Jean's heart clenched.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Are you okay?" Peter asked.
"I don't know."
"Jean..."
"I'm fine, really. You should talk to her, figure things out."
"Jean..."
"Goodnight, Peter."
She closed the link.
She lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
She's going to take him from me.
The thought was ugly. Possessive. Selfish.
But it was the truth.
Jean closed her eyes.
She didn't sleep either.